Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize