It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
