I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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