i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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