they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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