Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize