Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize