I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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