evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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