so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
