So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
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Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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