Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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