We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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