Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize