i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize