2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
love makes seman taste better
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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