I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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