why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
