Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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