'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
