Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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