The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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