Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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