There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
