do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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