I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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