thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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