I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You ate ashes out of my bong
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN