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When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
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