He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm bleeding and have questions
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!