What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
my liver is dry heaving
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not