fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE