I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.