will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
