and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
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he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
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Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.