Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?