I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.