just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
