I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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