i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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