my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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