I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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