I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize