Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize