yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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