he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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