8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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