omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
they need to just BURY HIM!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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