Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I could make wine with my vomit
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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