69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
