I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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