His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize