He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
