Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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