Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
