I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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