clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize